The Benefits of Being a Writer

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Every job has its perks, like free food, a nice view, or the opportunity to drive nice cars.  Being a writer is generally a lonely and hard job, but there are numerous benefits that are often overlooked.  Here are some of them:

1) Staring out the window is part of the job description.

There might be some people who would object to this, but it’s true in the strictest sense.

2) If you zone out during a conversation, you have a valid excuse.

“Are you listening to me?”

“Oh, uh, sorry, I was working.”

3) You’re a good liar.

Maybe not always a benefit, but studies have shown that creative people lie more often and much better.

4) Verbal battles are easily won.

You have a bigger vocabulary and a way with words.  Who can really beat you?  You’re basically bringing a bazooka to a twig fight in most cases.

“That’s story’s about as likely as Twinkie-trees blowing with the artic wind in Kentucky.”

5) If there’s someone you don’t like, you can make him a redshirt in your story.

There are actual legal repercussions for basing characters on people though, so make it recognisable only to you.

6) If the real world gets too much, you can just think up another one.

Hamlet said, “To be, or not to be.”  But he forgot to add, “or to be somewhere else”.

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